It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
