Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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