soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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