bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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