I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
