dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
