This is not my ceiling
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
