dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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