Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
