Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
