Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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