Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
