and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
