I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
