just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
