YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
