I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
