i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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