? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
