Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
