I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
