Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
