HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
