I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
