Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
