all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
A bitchslap is in order.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
