I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
