Do you still have your period?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
