problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
