i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
