The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
