We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
