Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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