i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
