my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
