apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
