OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
