I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
