He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You're like the curious george of whores
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
