JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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