You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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