he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
