VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
