Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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