i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My cat gives me a boner
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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