my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
