nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
