ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
