So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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