are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
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