five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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